Ok, it has been a while but I'm back. There has been way too much going on to try to even catch up, but it has been eventful.
Learning to be a single parent has been very difficult. I need a lot of help to be a mom, and I've had to learn to say, "hey I need some help over here!" My house is messy, I may not always cook dinner, and my child may or may not always get a bath, but we are happy and healthy.
A good friend warned me that the hardest thing about being apart is resentment, and she was right! I know he misses us and would love to be here with us, but some days when I am dealing with a fussy kid, stressful job, and crazy life I want to yell, loudly, at him. None of my frustrations are his fault, but he isn't here to help a d that frustrates me more! Just a vicious cycle :)
Today's message at church was just what my soul needed. Stephanie reminded us of Jesus retuning to Nazareth to preach. Can you imagine how proud his hometown was to see the son of god return to his city to preach their message? Well they should have been, but they weren't. They tried to throw him off a cliff. Jesus' own hometown rejected him because they still saw him as the little kid he once was and not the savior.
While I am no savior, this message was so powerful given the events of this month. Many of you know the trial I have had over the past few weeks, and it has been so difficult to be rejected by my people, my hometown. However, Pastor Stephanie reminded us, it wasn't our job to fix these people. We should show them love no matter what and understand that their hearts can be changed through Christ's love.
I cannot tell you how powerful that was for me. Jesus could not change the hearts of his people and they tried to kill him, but he still loved them. The people who have hurt me do not have to answer to me, I am not their judge. Jesus called me to love, and I can do that! I love my job and my students!! This year has not been the best, but as long as I continue to do my best and show Christ's love through my actions maybe it will get better.
There is a long time between now and June, and sometimes I think I won't be able to make it. However, I have a wonderful family and amazing coworkers and I can get by with a little help from my friends :)
Wow! Daddy and I are so proud of you. We know how you were raised, the values you have, and how compassionate you are. Yes, we brought you up, but HE shaped you into a godly woman. Your family, friends, church, and hometown will miss you when your family completes the move to Oklahoma.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yes, we are so lucky to have Rev. Stephanie Cox at EFUMC. She is definitely sent by God to help mend our broken hearts and our church.