A series of unfortunate events

Some days I am convinced my life is a crappy version of the Truman Show. You know where Jim
Carey is the "star" of a reality show but has no idea. All of his acquaintances are in on it, and the producers plot crappy things o happen to him.

For example, tonight, I get home as the tornado sirens are going off, get the kiddo safely in and ready for bed. It is only after the bottom falls out before I realize I had gone o the grocery store and there is food sitting in the back of my car.

I decide that everything can wait but the milk, the milk must get out! I wait for the rain to slack up some and make a break for it. Well slack or no slack I get covered from head to toe in some very cold rain. I get the milk out, close the car and run for the house, splashing water all over me as I run.

Finally, the precious milk is safe! Or is it?? A few hours later as I am getting ready for bed, I go to the fridge for some juice (I decline to comment on the fermentation level of said juice ;) only to discover a white liquid covering the self and dripping down the drawers.

Fortunately I had just wash my kitchen towels and had a stack handy. Everything has to get taken out, the milk sopped up, and then wiped with a Clorox wipe.

Now I have a problem, I have a gallon of milk that needs a new container but my tea pitcher if full of tea. However I do have another fancy crystal pitcher we got for a wedding present that only get brought out for fancy stuff (it been used like twice). So you guessed it, my milk is now back in my fridge but in a fancy pitcher, but I was unsure about having it uncovered, so my fancy pitcher is also covered with a piece of tinfoil.

So you see, my only conclusion can be that these things ate planned and staged for the general public's amusement. I mean really, could these things actually happen unless they were planned and staged just without my knowledge?

And yes, as I was putting everything back, I decided I needed a larger glass of juice :)